At first he knew my situation and was fine with it but once he had moved to my state, we started arguing about him wanting me to move in. Some dumpees already checked out emotionally before the real break up occurred. My prior post about my situation has cheating involved. I’m not buying that though. When your ex becomes sad or gets dumped, your ex could start looking for ways to ease his or her anxiety. Time will make him think. I have an article on the stages, grief cycle or timeline that a dumper will feel if you leave them alone. We then started uni soon after meeting in person and it was all fine I would visit her and she would come down to me . That would be like me telling people that say that “okay, break up with your significant other or whatever label put on it and don’t be upset at all just dance around and party like it’s first time”. So if they can manipulate you into into still giving them the comforts of your friendship and support even while they get to enjoy the freedom of being single, their exit is all gain--no pain. I know, I've been there. After your ex has finished experiencing the grass is greener syndrome, your ex will think back and start to miss the relationship and the things he or she got from you. I am really sorry that things went on for so long with you. I’m sorry. He seems to think very black and white. I just sent somewhat desperate messages to her. That’s why a lot of dumpees can’t fathom how their exes were able to change so much in such a short period of time and completely stopped caring about them. Only saying this advice as I assume you want to be with him. Upload or insert images from URL. The 'sweet' texts are combo plate of guilt mixed with a need for my own comfort in moving forward. Focus on you as much as can. Of course, I did the “weak” and “dumb” thing the night of the “heart thrashing”, by crying and begging a little. I’ve never felt so strong and sure about another person. Display as a link instead, × You're signed out. And once your ex finally broke up with you, your ex felt a sudden surge of relief like never before. But for your ex to process the breakup normally, you mustn’t interfere with his or her healing process. That’s why I’m saying show her kindness and empathy as much as possible so she feels safe and protected by you. I was told by few people don’t respond back, she’s keeping you on leash in case, but I don’t believe that at all based on everything we did, said and such. Is there any chance he will come back or was I just a rebound? I’m going through similar. How To Make Your Ex Regret Breaking Up With You? It will just trigger the pain over and over again. I had to leave and he thought I gave up and he broke up with me the next day. I promise that. After the initial relief your ex will feel right after the breakup, the next stages of no contact (usually after a one to three weeks) put your ex in a stage of curiosity. CreeD, Not really sure what she’s sorry for? It’s been 2 and half weeks. Dumpers don’t appear to have any regrets for breaking up with you because they are empowered with relief. I still have her number she still has mine. She said it’s nobody else and she has guy in front her she cares for and that cares for her. He said that he likes to party and I don’t. No matter if it’s emotional or physical. Texting I can over think at times, which her and I joke about. When I hear “she’s not into you”, I point out conversations daily we had, texts and conversations day before all this, planning our date night and such. I was so shocked by it because even she said the memories we had during the summer were the best in her life and so was mine. I hope the couple times I’ve reached out don’t destroy chance of her coming back. When I spoke to her friends after it seemed to make her more upset. Don't settle for crumbs. Catfeeder: what do you mean by breadcrums? Point is, spouses, partners do make each other happy or help bring that out more. Always be the best version of yourself and stand strong in knowing that you are valuable. Just cut it out! I disagree that it’s over for good. She would daily, drop random messages how she misses me, couldn’t wait to see me the next time, how’s day going, etc. They are looking out for me, but her and I shared way too much intimately on both emotional and physical type levels. It’s realizing “hey this woman I care for has a issue, what can I do as a man to support her, what things do I say that might trigger her, let me adjust that to help our relationship”. Anyways that day was the last time I hugged her and saw her face we were both holding each other so close whilst crying outside the train station and I then left. December 13, 2014 in Getting Back Together. Everybody has flaws. You cannot paste images directly. Your ex has been meaning to do it for so long it started suffocating him or her. She was so confused telling me to ignore what she’s saying and that she’s overthinking it and then she would change her mind and say she wanted a break like a stop to the relationship to see how it goes. But I did what I could to push through that and be there for him when he made family gatherings and parties. This includes fun and exciting new things. It’s hurts “terribly” and feels so wrong. He is a very stubborn person and once he gets a thought into his head that’s it, there’s no changing his mind. I’m praying daily my ex girlfriend reaches out to me to work on us. And she told her family that it just happened between us, there’s something special, she’s so thankful we met and being together, she told her ex about me I guess as it pertains to kids. dreamerx3. Never tried it before. I am a 30 year old female. That’s not reason though I posted on here earlier. I also asked my ex if he still see himself with me? Started 10 hours ago, By And what went through you minds? and i begged him to take me back and he said no, he even said i was making it worst and stated what part of him wanting to be alone i don’t understand. A couple people have told me do not contact her. Sadly, and maybe stupidly, I’m basically waiting for her. She’s also dated a lot more than me, which is why she told me she was looking for something serious or to develop serious with someone and then told me after we met she’s never felt this way, she sees us together for future and such. Just how your ex feels empowered by all the post-breakup mistakes, you would feel stronger by hearing his or her apology. When this happens, dumpees hear a lot of excuses, such as “I missed you so much, I love you and I need you, I made a mistake, etc,”. It will just prolong your grieving process. It will kill him and bring him to his knees. I feel she’s leaving open lines of communication so that’s good. Dumpers Regret Stages. It was a great relationship and she was totally infatuated with me it was the greatest feeling ever. What a tool bag doing that without any empathy. None of it adds up. Whether it’s designed this way or pure coincidence, it shouldn’t work any other way. It's been about 1.5 years and I still don't regret it, actually i'm happier without my ex. Male dumpers can be very sly and jump from one relationship to another. I really do think he is my soulmate. It's pretty hard to reconcile when you aren't living in the same city. Kinda feels she’s keeping lines open with us. Don’t let him see you doing anything at all. I thought it would be good for me to meet someone new, but I think it is a little too early. I understand the pain and understand the abrupt sudden change. Started Saturday at 10:40 AM, By It is not a natural process where you can just start seeing each other again. It’s been about 2 weeks now and we are still close friends. Texting I can over think at times, which her and I joke about. Cry if you need to. It’s insulting and devaluing to you as a female. They will try to live as independently as possible until they meet someone else. They are looking out for me, but her and I shared way too much intimately on both emotional and physical type levels. No idea why share all that and then this? As she’s asked me to do. She’s been on phone with me while her mom is in room and shared how misses me and stuff so it’s not like she lied about what she told them. Started 10 minutes ago, By I was dating this guy for a year, he took me to his house and we had plans of getting marry and building a family together, he even moved across the country for me. He also said he doesn’t know. This an interesting thread. I replied this He also went out partying the day I moved my things out of the house. If someone cheats, they better beg their butts off to win you back. Pasted as rich text. Again, it makes zero sense though. It’s also filled with tons of amazing content creators. Unless someone has like some kinda borderline thing maybe I guess? And plus, shall he come back, which I think he will try too, don’t give him any ammo towards you. I can promise you, if we weren’t dumped and forced into no contact, we’d make it very clear to you or other person how much we wanted relationship to flourish. She said she wants to not have that commitment and that she’s scared and she doesn’t want that feeling of someone s there in her life. If you've been my safety net for a long time, it's totally self serving for me to put those out without regard for your need to ditch the idea of waiting for me so you can move on. And maybe come back, I really need some advice on this it’s been two years since my ex and I broke up he broke up with me and the reason being is because we argued a lot after about 6 months of us both cooling down I’ve realized all the wrong I had done in that relationship and I know I’m not the only one at fault so I messaged him on Instagram apologizing I felt like he was still hurt just by some of the things he had said but I also felt like he was trying to rub his positive life in my face basically telling me who all he’s hooked up with etc like I didn’t wanna know that stuff but anyways ever since then he will message me about random stuff rarely like stuff he could find answers to online or there’s been a couple times he actually asked to hangout but he would never follow through and we don’t follow eachother on social media but I can still see where he will go and look at my stuff on Instagram I recently got into a new relationship and he messaged me as soon as he seen that I was with someone else but anyways I really miss him like I feel deep down he was my soul mate I had a connection with him that I didn’t have with anyone else and the more that I’m with this new guy the more I miss him I don’t know what to think or what to do I’m very confused, I would go no contact. I’d always make sure to reassure her as she mentioned because of couple past things like her being cheated on multiple times, and similar. I helped him move and get his apartment set up but the last four months we had a lot of arguments because he wanted me to move in with him and i couldn’t for personal reasons. Again, makes zero sense. Totally feel she’s “it”. I was unsure to write this now, or talk about it on sunday, but I dont want to waste your time if there are other things you want to do. She apologized and explained her reasons. I can control my behavior in that regard, and that’s not me to ignore her like that. We don’t talk about our own relationships ti each other, so I don’t know much of how good his is going. Go dark. More often than not, dumpers come back after months or years, rather than days after the breakup.